In 2020 moest ik een surprise maken voor mijn jongste zusje. Zij had haar lootje niet namens haarzelf geschreven, maar namens “King Poopie-pants the Third”. Al haar hobby’s en wensen had ze opgeschreven alsof ze waren geschreven door een arrogante fictieve koning. Tja, dan moest ik in het gedicht bij haar surprise die koning natuurlijk ook wel adresseren. En een “Great King Poopie-pants”, die kon vast wel goed Engels.

Great King Poopie-pants III

Dear recipient, (please read this in your best British accent)

In his office in Spain, the Saint was reading people’s words
Poorly printed pieces of paper, proclaiming what presents people preferred
When suddenly, his vision blurred and a deafening indignant scream was heard
“This is absurd! Who is this Great King Poopie-pants the Third?”

Luckily, his second hand, Pete, was around
Who sped into the Saint’s suite to see if he was still safe and sound
The Saint explained the situation and all the necessary background
And Pete frowned: “So you looked up this king in your Great Book, but his details are nowhere to be found?”

“That’s right!” The Saint exclaimed after scraping his throat
“We must procure a picture of the producer of this note!”
And so, Pete devoted his time to find out about the one who wrote
In order to make sure the presents could be sent to the Package Boat

It quickly turned out that the options were anything but plethora
The fellow fathomed the fiction hadn’t been formulated by fauna nor flora
“M’laddy” he entered his boss’s room as he tipped his fedora
“There’s only one possible author and her name is XXX”

As the Saint regained color in his cheeks, his face turned a little less bleak
And full of fortitude, he squeaked: “Let us find this freak!”
They made their way to the Netherlands, to give her school a quick peek
But once there, the director told them they hadn’t seen the girl at all this week

Next, they tried asking her friends, who were at school at the time
But when asked about her area, all acquaintances ought to decline
“She’s great to be around, but when you need her, she gives off no sign”
Saint and Pete got the feeling this girl’s and their interests didn’t align

But they weren’t giving up yet, as one last method of communication was known
Their final try to fall by implied inquiring her by phone
Unfortunately, there was no answer, as it was quickly shown
Perhaps, they figured, this girl from Holland prefers to be left alone

So in the end, they turned back to Spain in a small change of plans
Instead of dropping by this damsel directly, they decided to just hand
a surprise package to the postal service, reminiscent of the note she sent
They hope you like their tribute to the Great King Poopie-pants

~Rhyming Pete